LGBTIQ+ Communities

Intimate partner, domestic and family violence can affect people of all ages, races, gender identities, sexual orientations and relationship types. The Domestic Violence Crisis Service provides support to anyone impacted by intimate partner, domestic and family violence, regardless of age, sexuality or gender.

Historically, there has been little information about intimate partner, domestic and family violence in LGBTIQ+ communities. Most information relates to cisgender heterosexual relationships. This can mean that people may not believe that intimate partner, domestic and family violence happens in LGBTIQ+ communities nor be able to recognise it if it does.

What is intimate partner, domestic and family violence

Intimate partner, domestic and family violence is when someone intentionally uses violence, threats, force or intimidation to control or manipulate a family member, partner or former partner. The violence is intentional and systematic and often increases in frequency and severity the longer the relationship goes on.

It is intended to cause fear and can include physical, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual or psychological abuse, and neglect. “Outing” or the threat of “outing” can also be used as a method of control.

It does not have to occur within the home or between people who are living together. It affects people of all ages, races, religions, socioeconomic backgrounds, gender, sexual orientation, cultural and ethnic backgrounds.

Your feelings

You might feel you have done something wrong, or something to cause the violence or abuse. This is not true. Violence and abuse is never ok. It is against the law. You might:

• blame yourself for the violence
• feel like you’re walking on egg shells
• jump at every little sound
• feel like you’re waiting for an explosion
• feel you have to ask permission to do anything or spend money
• wonder what the neighbours think
• take drugs or alcohol to cope.

Remember these things

If you are worried you, or someone close to you needs support please remember:

• Threats, stalking and physical and sexual violence are all illegal.
• The person using violence might try to blame you, or try to make you feel responsible, ashamed or guilty.
• You are not to blame for someone else’s controlling behaviours. What they have done is wrong. It is not your fault and it is against the law.
• DVCS is here to provide support during and after crisis situations.
• Our supporting someone page contains advice on what you can do to help someone you are worried about.

Need to talk?

If you or someone you know is in a life-threatening situation please call the police on 000.

To access our crisis intervention services call our 24/7 crisis telephone line 02 6280 0900.  If it isn’t urgent another contact option is to email crisis@dvcs.org.au; this email is only monitored during business hours. You are welcome to call us reverse charges.

We do not make any sound recordings of our conversations.  You do not need to give us your name, but if you do we make notes that we spoke to you.   If you are unsure, please let us know at the start of the call and we can tell you about our confidentiality policy.

Links and related information

• 1800 Respect
• Say It Out Loud
• Lifeline
• Relationships Australia
• Another Closet
• Meridian (formerly AIDS Action Council)
• Canberra Rape Crisis Centre
• Womens Centre for Health Matters
• Service Assisting Male Survivors of Sexual Assault