Men
Domestic and family violence happens to men too, including men in same-sex relationships. Violence against any person is unacceptable. People who use violence against men include their children, wives or partners, ex-partners, parents and siblings.
Men who are subjected to domestic and family violence are more likely to be impacted by psychological symptoms, stress, depression and alcoholism than men who do not experience violence. Many also feel a sense of shame about the abuse they are experiencing. This may be related to feeling like they should be able to protect themselves from violence.
Male victims of domestic and family violence often find it harder to access help. Many fear they will be ridiculed or won’t be believed. It is important to remember that domestic and family violence is not your fault. It is not ok and it is against the law.
At DVCS we support everyone—regardless of gender—affected by domestic and family violence. If you, or someone you know, are experiencing domestic and family violence we are here to help and we encourage you to contact us.
What is domestic and family violence
Domestic and family violence does not discriminate. It happens across all ages, genders, cultural, ethnic and socio-economic groups. It is when someone uses violence, threats, force or intimidation to control or manipulate a family member, partner or former partner.
Domestic and family violence can include physical, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual or psychological abuse and neglect. It does not have to occur within the home or between people who are living together.
The violence is intentional and systematic and often increases in frequency and severity the longer the relationship goes on. It is about power and control and it is intended to cause fear.
Your feelings
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. You might feel you have done something wrong, or something to cause the violence or abuse. This is not true. Violence and abuse is never ok. It is against the law. You might:
- blame yourself for the violence
- feel like you’re walking on egg shells
- jump at every little sound
- feel like you’re waiting for an explosion
- feel you have to ask permission to do anything or spend money
- wonder what the neighbours think
- take drugs or alcohol to cope.
Remember these things
If you are worried you, or someone close to you, is being abused please remember:
- Threats, stalking and physical and sexual violence are all illegal.
- The abuser might blame you, or make you feel responsible, ashamed or guilty.
- You are not to blame for someone else’s actions. What they have done is wrong. It is not your fault and it is against the law.
- The ACT law offers the same protection to men as it does to any other victim of domestic and family violence.
- DVCS is here to provide help and support during and after crisis situations.
- Our supporting someone page contains advice on what you can do to help someone you are worried about.
Need to talk?
If you or someone you know is in a life-threatening situation please call the police on 000.
To access our crisis intervention services call our 24/7 crisis telephone line 02 6280 0900. If it isn’t urgent another contact option is to email crisis@dvcs.org.au; this email is only monitored during business hours. You are welcome to call us reverse charges.
We do not make any sound recordings of our conversations. You do not need to give us your name, but if you do we make notes that we spoke to you. If you are unsure, please let us know at the start of the call and we can tell you about our confidentiality policy.
Links and related information
- 1800 Respect
- Lifeline
- Relationships Australia
- Service Assisting Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
- Everyman
- Menslink
- Mensline
