I don’t want to end the relationship

There are many reasons why people subjected to violence choose to stay in relationships where they experience violence. Perhaps they are frightened to leave; feel they should stay for their children; they love their partner or they have hope that things can be different. Maybe they have lived with violence for so long, they feel they deserve to be treated this way. They may believe they have nowhere else to go, or they may be dependent on their violent partner for financial or personal care.

It is important that responsibility for the violence always rests with the person using violence. It is common for people to ask “why do they stay?” when the more relevant question should be “why don’t they stop?”

Despite the violence, you might choose to stay in the relationship. This choice is yours to make, and the Domestic Violence Crisis Service (DVCS) respects that you are the expert of your life. Our workers understand the dynamics and complexities of violent relationships and work from a strengths-based, non-judgemental place.

If you decide to stay we would like to assist you with support and safety planning, and encourage you to call our crisis line.

You can also choose to apply for a Domestic Violence Order (DVO) and still remain with your partner.  The DVO can place restrictions on your partner to stop their use of violence, without making you leave the relationship or move out.

Please contact us here should you wish to discuss your options further. You can contact us anonymously. We do not make any sound recordings of our conversations, but we do record that we spoke to you. This record can be made anonymously. If you are unsure, please speak to our crisis workers at the commencement of the call.